Our Guest Clarice Fluitt
CLARICE: I knew he would never turn me loose! I knew it! I mean he was going to shake a tongue out of me! That was all.
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: And I said, “I don’t know what you want!”
Audience: [more laughter]
CLARICE: “I don’t – I mean I would – believe me, I would do it if I knew what it was!”
Audience: [more laughter]
CLARICE: I’m about to fall off the edge of the chair.
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: And I said, “But, but.” And he said, “That’s it!” My husband looked at me and he says, “You got it?”
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: I said, “Oh yeah! I got it! I’m not going to have a hair left on my head if I don’t get it!”
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: I mean this guy was – I mean he was determined! We didn’t know much except hang in there! You know! So I said, “But, but!” Suddenly this woman – you know every meeting has a strange woman. And she had more hair than King Kong and it was wrapped around, an oatmeal box and she comes down the aisle with a finger pointing! She looked – and she’s doin’ the chicken, you know, comin’ down there. And I thought, “Oh my God!” And then my husband had his head down and he was bowing. I said, “Man, if you ever opened your eyes, open ‘em now! There’s somethin’ comin’ after us!”
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: And she was shakin’ her head and her hair came down. Her hairpins went everywhere and she goes [speaking in tongues]. You know I thought whoo – hoo – hoo – hoo!
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: She got up to us [speaking in tongues] goin’ around and around! I thought, “My God, it’s going to rain somewhere!” You know?
Audience: [laughing] Whooo – hoo – hoo – hoo – hoo!
CLARICE: Now say it. We’ve never been this way before!
Audience: [laughing and laughing] We’ve never been this way before! [laughing]
CLARICE: She said, “For God has called you as prophets to the nation!” I knew what a profit was! That’s money! [laughs]
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: It’s going to go with my bird! [laughing]
Audience: [laughter]
CLARICE: [laughing] You’re going to think did this really happen? I could not be here doing what I’m doing today! In my job, if you lie you fry!
Audience: [laughs]
