It's Supernatural

Sid: My guest by way of telephone is Rebecca Park Totilo. I’m speaking to her…. caught up with her in Wichita, Kansas. And we were so excited about her brand new book it’s called “His Majesty Requests.” What she has done few Christians even comprehend. You see we have Jewish weddings today but Jewish weddings today are very different than the weddings at the time that Jesus walked in the flesh. A lot of what He wrote especially having to do with the royal wedding of the Lamb. He felt everyone would understand in a Jewish culture for Jewish people with Jewish weddings going on all of the time that everyone would understand the symbolism He was using. Well they did but in this generation most Christians don’t have a clue and miss so many wonderful things about the wedding supper of the Lamb, the Royal Wedding you can’t because it’s coming up soon and you’re part of the bride. And there is a dimension of intimacy revealed in the scriptures and revealed in a traditional ancient Jewish wedding that will equip you for the greatest wedding in history. So I have on the telephone Rebecca, and Rebecca some of the things that you went through as a child most Christians would have difficulty. I mean you were saved at 12 you promptly backslid in high school. How did you backslide just a little at a time or what were the major ingredients?

Rebecca: Well it’s not a pretty story but it’s the truth. Actually my father passed away when I had just turned 14 and so you know that’s a critical time in your life as a child when you’re entering the high school years. And of course I was very naive and innocent at that time and had not gone out with guys or anything but yet I because of that void in my life I had sort of fell into that trap of looking for affection and love in the wrong places. And actually it was in my sophomore year of high school that my Driver’s Ed Teacher took me out in the car and attempted to rape me. And of course he was not able to you know get away with it. And so I told my mom what had happened and such and because of all of the, you know, the circulation of stories going around and I was a cheerleader in high school and they didn’t want my reputation to be ruined and everything so they just sort of put it… sort of slipped it under the rug and pretended like it didn’t happen. But the teacher did lose his job and with that because of you know the injustice that had been done to me and I was the one that ended up feeling bad about myself that I had somehow caused this and brought this on to myself that I you know went and found you know affection from guys. And in fact within a couple of weeks later another guy who had taken me out to a sorority party had taken me out to a field and did rape me. And so that was the downhill side for me because I lost my virginity. That one thing that I held on to and felt was very precious and valuable to me the only thing that I thought that I had.

Sid: But then you kept sliding you got into drugs, you got into the occult.

Rebecca: Yes, it was actually through the high school years but I began to you know experiment with drugs and continue to live a partying lifestyle and it just grew deeper and deeper.

Sid: Now out of curiosity you’re a very prophetic type of individual today as a believer, but in your college days as you were into drugs and the New Age you actually saw demons?

Rebecca: Yes.

Sid: Were you afraid of them at all?

Rebecca: No, actually I really loved the spiritual realm and I think that’s what you see in many people today though they’re not necessarily believers and Christians or followers of the Messiah. But yet there’s that inward calling on a person and I had that hunger for the spiritual things but it was going to the wrong direction of course it was in a warped you know…

Sid: It’s a perversion of the real thing.

Rebecca: Exactly and so I had a real love for darkness in fact and I just had felt comfort in the darkness.

Sid: Did you really see a witch change into a cat before your eyes?

Rebecca: Yes she… I was working in a bar and we were closing up and the people, there was only a couple of people left the owner and the bartender and people And I was walking out. And this woman had come in and told us… I don’t know why but for some reason she was really angry with us in there and she came in and told us she was going to put a curse upon us, and everybody sort of laughed and made fun of her. So when I went outside I saw her actually walk around the car and instead of coming around the other side of the car like you would see someone do there was a black cat that came out from behind the car. And she disappeared and she was gone (Chuckle) and very strange. I was living down at the intercity going to college at the time and so there’s all kinds of things going on in that area of town and there’s a lot of bars and voodoo and a lot of witchcraft and things going on. So I was living right in the midst of it.

Sid: You had a vision in which Satan himself came to you what was that like?

Rebecca: Well, it was very close to the time where I think I had come to almost a crossroads in my walk.

Sid: You were suicidal?

Rebecca: Yes, yes because I had done so many drugs and mixing it with alcohol and it was only by a miracle you know that God kept His hand upon my life and didn’t allow me to die. But during that time, and it was one of the darkest periods; you know I could say it was the darkest period of my life where it was the worst place in my life feeling very worthless and useless to anyone else. I was living alone and I had a lot of occultic things in my home so it was a real manifestation of demons in my house. I can remember I used to worship the Rolling Stones music and I just loved Mick Jagger and you know I just listened 12 hours a day, so I was constantly just having this mantra through my head. And so during that time I can remember that Satan appeared before me in a you know a sort of a vision half where he was almost transparent but you could see the figure of his person in front of me and the darkness. He was the beautiful… he came in the image of the image of man and was very beautiful but you know you could see the darkness around him and the red you know at the bottom. And so he was there to entice me to come and to make a vow to him that I would serve him only. And that with that he gave me a promise that “I’ll let you be whatever you want to be a famous world, you know a famous whatever that your heart desires.” And it was at that same time that you know just the lack of direction in my own life that I was seeking to know what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. Here I was coming to the end you know the last couple years of my college not knowing where I was going to go and do with my life. We also have these fantasies that we want to be somebody famous, rich and famous you know people look up to us. And that night the Lord came to me in a dream too. And I had a dream and I saw the Lord sitting in a boat off the shore and He was calling me out to the boat and He was saying “Come and follow me.” So when I woke up that morning I took out my Bible which I hadn’t looked at in years it was the one from my childhood, the one that I had gotten when I was 12 years old.

Sid: Did he tell you in that dream that this was your last chance?

Rebecca: Yes, He did because…

Sid: Was that scary because you said it wasn’t scary to see the demons; was that scary when God says “This is your last chance?”

Rebecca: Yes, because he had come to me before and he had you know tried to woo me back before and I knew that this was the 3^rd time. That he had you know made this where He was actually coming to tell me that “I need to come back.” I was really going too far out and if I took the next step towards Satan that I was going to be lost because I would have gone you know its so deep into the occult and you know to the witchcraft and Satanism that He was telling me that I needed you know to grab a hold of Him. So I did. I took out my Bible and I flipped it open and the scripture was the only I had gotten when I was a child. You know the one that says that if you would deny yourself and pick up your cross and follow Him.

Sid: But the next day your sister starts talking to you about rock and roll music and what effect did that have on you?

Rebecca: Oh boy, well she had touched all of my sacred cows when she talked to me about this stuff and you know I was very fascinated about what she was telling me because I knew these groups intimately. I had a fascinating especially with the Rolling Stones. And it was very interesting to see that at the same time I knew that I had grieved God’s heart and I knew that I just wept for 3 hours and I really didn’t want to give up my gods you know. But I knew the Lord was saying that I needed to lay it down and give these things up and give up my idol worship and to separate myself from these things. And my heart was convicted by that I knew what she was saying was true. So we went home and I was afraid to go back home actually because I knew that once you recognize the presence of demons in your place it’s scary to go back into it. You know the darkness is there and you’re comfortable you know your comforted by that darkness because they’re familiar spirits they’ve been with you all of this time. But now there was a new Spirit upon me you know the Holy Spirit was working in me and beginning to cleanse me from all of this idol worship and all I had gotten into. I was going to have to go back in it and face it and I was afraid. And so my brother-in-law went with me downtown to my apartment and were cleansing out my house and getting rid of all of the albums and books and everything that was you know tied to that.

Sid: Is it true that when you did that you were instantly delivered from drugs and alcohol?

Rebecca: Oh yeah, oh yeah the Lord was very gracious to me (Chuckling) because He instantly removed…

Sid: Yeah, but what I read you used to take handfuls of drugs and drink vodka straight!

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, that was something.

Sid: Yeah instantly set free!

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah when I came home from the bar that night and this is a scary thing when I tell people…

Sid: Will you hold that thought we’re out of time.